Today was tough. I had a conversation with a friend last night that shook me up a bit, and I didn't sleep well. Sometimes it's so hard to maintain friendships across the miles. I look in the mirror some days and wonder who I've become compared to who I was. Am I more like Christ intended me to be, or less? God places sinful, fallen people in our lives who are just as unfinished as we are. Separating out what is of God and what is of flesh is tricky at times. Sometimes I just want Jesus to be next to me with the skin on. And sometimes He is the in the form of a friend or loved one. But, it's rare. And sometimes Satan uses the people in our lives to confuse us, separate us from Him. I know the answer is to keep my eyes on Him. Not the easiest thing for a people-pleaser like me. I choose Christ. He covers me. He is what I'm holding to.
Had my final follicle check today. Retrieval will be Monday, very early in the morning. Transfer will follow probably 2, or 3, days after. For my first two IVF cycles, the days of the week worked out to be the exact same, so I had the same exact doctors for all the same exact appointments. This cycle has followed the same pattern (maybe that's a positive sign - the first two cycles did, after all, result in pregnancies). So, I knew I 'd see Dr. S today and I know he shoots a lot more straight than Dr. A. Don't know why it always knocks me off my game a little, but it does. It's so strange, there are days I go into that office and feel so encouraged, but encouragement wasn't to be found today. Things still look good, but Dr. S points out the possible things that could wrong whereas Dr. A just says it's all good. Don't know which way is better, but it's difficult to go between the two... this is just beyond my control. That's it and that's all. So, we pray and we trust God and we'll see.