Okay, so maybe being alone isn't good for me... I think too much but at least I haven't broken any pill bottles today. I couldn't paste on a smile for church today. I knew worship would reduce me to a puddle of tears.
Today is July 25th. I woke up to find my body is doing what it's supposed to do after a failed cycle, but it was like a final nail in the coffin for this embryo. No more irrational fantasies that maybe they were wrong. Not only that, had our twins lived, this would have been our due date. Instead of delivering beautiful babies, I am trying to pick up the pieces of a failed cycle. It's not fair. We were never promised fair. It still sucks though.
I've been working on my long list of questions for my doctor when I see him Tuesday. What else is there to say? All I can say is that I love my husband and I love my son. That's the good I am holding on to. God is with me, I know. I don't feel or hear him, but I know He's got to be there. Right?